CAST OF CHARACTERS
Brian Gold
David Davies
Marsha Matthews
Mayor McChess
Tiffany Smits
The Mysterions;
- Question Mark/Mark Moses
- The Purple Piston/Penny Cranston
- JT Laser/Jeff Tannar
- The Zephyr/Maribelle Peters
- The Brick/Brock Lewis
***
Mayor Leonard McChess could honestly be called an easygoing man. The town he presided over, Steven's Point, really could be considered a good place to live, if it weren't for those pesky crimes and supervillains, of course. But otherwise, he considered his job a breeze, especially since most of his decisions revolved around whether or not to cut funding to Steven's Point's school cafeteria menu.
But today, well, today just wasn't going his way. He'd specifically ordered no folded egg on his Sausage McGriddle, but it had come with egg anyway. The ride to his City Hall office was plagued with traffic and asinine drivers giving him the finger as they cut him off. And as he reached his office, a group of men, all dressed up as pirates, had his personal secretary, Tiffany, bound and gagged, with a cutlass held to her throat.

Their "captain", called such because he had the biggest hat out of the group, looked to him as he walked through the door, and aimed an old fashioned pistol in his general direction.

Captain Byron: Mayor McChess, so glad you could join us. I do hope you won't mind our intrusion, this is really just a formality, really. I promise, if you keep calm, and play our game of "bait", we'll gladly leave you unharmed, after our task is done.

Leonard recognized the pirates as the ones that had terrorized his city last year. Byron and his pirates had made a rather big stink in the past year, utilizing a flying pirate ship of all things, to transport themselves from area to area in the city, to loot, rob, pillage, and occasionally kidnap.
Leonard remembered that two young boys, residents of his very city, had been the ones to stop the pirates. While he wasn't entirely certain how two sixteen year old boys could stop an entire crew of pirates, he was rather grateful.

But now...

Leonard: "Bait?" What do you mean, "bait?"

Byron: Oh, you know, a dangling carrot, to draw the attention of good old Brian Gold. He has this annoying tendency to do the right thing, so he'll surely come after me, especially if I'm holding the city's mayor hostage.

Leonard: I see...
Wait, how did you even get in here?

Byron: Oh, its quite simple, really. We're pirates. We pillaged our way up here. Our ship is parked in that quaint little garden you keep behind City Hall, just by the fountain. Something I'm sure the tax dollars went into building...

Leonard: I apologize for nothing, that fountain looks very nice.

Byron: Oh, I agree, and its really nothing I'm worried about. I'm rich, you see.

As the two had been conversing, the pirate crew had forced the mayor into his office chair, and had cuffed each of his hands to a seperate arm of the chair. Tiffany, on the other hand, was otherwise neglected, and was busy inching herself up against the wall. Unseen by all due to her hands being bound behind her back, she managed to maneuver her hands in such a way that she could pluck a lone ring that she wore on her right hand off of her finger.
Working discreetly, she used her nimble fingers to flip the top off of what was, at first look, a rather dulcid and unattractive sapphire-like jewel, revealing a small button. She pushed it, a light click signifying a job well done...

Meanwhile, Byron's and Leonard's surprisingly casual conversation had taken a different turn...

Byron: ...And thats why I think you need to change the high school's fight song to Warrant's "Cherry Pie."

Leonard: How amusing.
...You said that Brian Gold will be coming?

Byron: Oh yes, very soon, he and his Irish murder machine...David Davies. I'm sure you know him as well....

The mayor actually shuddered, knowing all too well the numerous collateral damage complaints filed on his account. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, thinking back on every time he'd had to sign a form to pay for reconstruction due to Davies' carelessness.

Leonard: Well, I suppose the two DO get results...

Byron: Yes, just at the expense of a few tax dollar, right?

A low rumble was heard by all in the room, and Byron turned to its general direction, a sly grin on his lips.

Byron: Ah, that must be the wonder team now...

Byron was more than a little shocked when the wall practically flew apart, and standing in its place was not David Davies, nor even Brian Gold, as he'd suspected. Instead, a rather large man, barely hovering below seven feet tall, muscle and sinew almost bursting through his skin, his body covered by a long, one-piece, red spandex singlet.
The man was massive, to say the least.

Byron, completely at a loss for words, stammered a half-hearted greeting...

Byron: Um...welcome to the mayor's office?

Before he was sent into a nearby wall with a clubbing blow from the hulking man.

Voice: Good work, Brick.

The owner of the voice stepped from behind the giant. Dressed in a long trenchcoat that was completely covered in question marks, was a rather aged looking man. What was left of his hair was completely grey, and he had more than crow's feet wrinkled into his face.
However, the giant looked to him as a student would a teacher (despite dwarfing him by a foot and a half) and the older man looked up at him with a smile.

Old man: Well done, my friend. Now, please clean up the rest of this rabble while I attend to the young lady.

The giant man nodded, smiling as he went to work. The smartest of the pirate crew ran for their lives, while the stupidest actually stayed behind to fight. Byron, for his part, had recovered rather quickly, and was racing for his air ship, leaving his crew behind to get battered.
As he flung open the door that lead to the hallway, a woman, dressed in a dark green, elegant, almost Victorian era dress, stood in his way. Raising his cutlass to strike, all the woman did to defend herself was breathe inward...then outward, which sent Byron flying back, as if he were caught in a typhoon.

Woman: Please don't leave yet, we'll need to put you under arrest.

Byron, of course, didn't really consider complying, instead taking the nearest exit; a fire door. As the building's fire alarms wailed on, Byron ran down the fire escape steps, stopping to take a look as he passed by a woman, dressed in a purple latex catsuit.

Catsuit woman: Yes?

Byron opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it.

Byron: Maybe we'll kidnap you next time.

Byron then took off, reaching the bottom of the fire escape in record time. The fire escape had lead to the garden where he'd landed his flying ship, and escape really seemed within his grasp.
As he jumped from the last step of the fire escape, he turned to run toward his ship...and ran right into the same woman before.

Catsuit woman: Well, its later now, care to kidnap me?

Byron ran past her, gasping for air as he flew for his life. The ship was so close...so...close...
And then, it was gone...well, the hull was gone. A huge bolt of blue energy had ripped right through the hull, and now, a large, smoking hole revealed much of his former ship's innards.

Byron: Well...poo...

A young, fit looking man jumped into view, wearing a pair of blue goggles, and a smile on his face.

Man: Sorry pal, but sometimes, what was there before...

The young man demonstrated by blinking his eyes, then opening them wide, the large bolt of blue energy flying from his eyes and opening a nice hole in front of Byron.

Man: ...will be gone laser.

Byron sighed. He knelt to the ground, his hands on his head.

Byron: Go ahead. Say it.

Man: Alrighty then.
Captin Byron Ostrum; you are under arrest.
***
More than half the police force had to be called in to arrest Byron and his crew. As the police did their dirty work, the aged man, with the question marked trench coat, had a conversation with the mayor.

Leonard: Well, first off, my thanks...

Aged man: Aren't necessary. We're just doing our job, your honor.

Leonard: Even so, I owe you quite a bit of gratitude...but...how...

Aged man: Did we know what was going on? Well, your secretary was kind enough to accept a gift from me a short time ago. I told her that if, at any time, she found herself in insurmountable trouble, that she could use the ring on her finger to call for help.

Leonard: Interesting...interesting...
Well...if you're interested...I've got something of a proposition for you...

Aged man: Oh? And what would that be?

The mayor smiled, partly because of the thought he had in his mind, and partly because a photographer had shown up for publicity pictures...
***
Later that evening, in front of the city hall steps, a press conference was held. The mayor, Leonard, stood behind a microphoned podium, all five of the heroes from earlier that day standing off to his side; the aged, trenchcoat wearing man; the musculard giant; the young, goggled man; the woman in her elegant dress; and the younger woman in her less than elegant catsuit.
Leonard stepped up to the microphone, and began the press conference.

Leonard: Ladies and gentlemen of Steven's Point, I was forced to look certain doom right in the eye today. And while I did my best to keep my wits about me, I feared for my life, and the life of my wonderful secretary, Tiffany.
But then, these five wonderful beings flew to my rescue. These five, that I'm going to introduce to you right now; Their leader, the Question Mark (the aged, trenchcoat wearing man); the Brick, whom is as hardened and tough as him namesake (the giant); the Zephyr, whose powerful lungs are hidden deep inside a delicate package (the woman in the dress); the Purple Piston, as fast as she is stunning (the woman in the catsuit); and JT Laser, whom, well....you don't really want him to stare real intently as something easily breakable, I'll tell you that! (the man in the goggles)
Together, this crime fighting team are known as the Mysterions, and they, ladies and gentlemen, are our new protectors of truth, justice, and (last reference due to "American Way" being trademarked). These five will be our last line of defense against evil!

The news team that made up much of the audience made a small commotion, and their reporter, Schick Johnson, stood up with his hand raised.

Shick: Mr. Mayor!

Leonard: Yes, Schick, a question?

Schick: Indeed, sir...about these...Mysterions being our new protectors...where does that leave our former, less..."official" proctectors of justice?

Leonard: Ah, I assume you're referring to our favorite terrible teenage duo...yes, Brian Gold and David Davies have done some incredible things for this city. And in truth, we all owe them a great debt of gratitude. Unfortunately, those two, while young, don't seem to comprehend the concept of "collateral damage", and seem to destroy everything in their path before even coming close to apprehending a criminal.
Well, it is with great sorrow that I must retire Brian and Dave, effective immediately. If either Brian Gold and David Davies make any public attempt at crime fighting, they will be put under arrest...tried as minors, of course, but rest assured, our fair city will not have to suffer under any more of Dave Davies's famous rage attacks.
Are there any further questions?
***
And sitting, wide eyed, their mouths open in shock, are our two (former) heroes, Brian Gold, David Davies, watching the announcement from Brian's living room, on his tv.
So, since these two can't really do anything interesting anymore, I guess we really don't need to follow them around anymore. Lets go follow those new heroes, they seem pretty cool!

Bye guys!

Brian: Hey, wait! What the fu-